Parental Suggestion

This post for me is a difficult one to write. Its one of the more personal ones. Sitting around I've got a lot of time to sit and think. Probably too much time. Certainly given the time I've spent recently sitting on trains mainly listening to Marvin Gaye (Trouble Man). But I've been running back over the last couple of months.

Recently my parents celebrated their ruby wedding anniversary. It was a great occasion with loads of family and friends around. It was that kind of bunch, fifty/sixty something - I felt a little out of place being the youngest by quite a way. However, the feeling of out of place was added to by the lonely chair next to me, necessary to make the numbers up and not split anyone else up...

Coupled with the fact my love life seemed to become choice conversation, especially with friends/relatives they don't see too often – as it always seems to, however, never in groups when I was around – so I'd hear bits of my personal life drifting past in other people's discussions. Nice and discreet as usual, I think I may have heard a couple of them whilst standing in the next room... My folks seem to have this inbuilt ability to do this – wherever we are, but especially if I've gone out for a meal with them, doubly so if a member of the service staff is coming to the table.

There's a bit of me that wonders whether this relationship pressure comes from the parents, the force to settle down. I've a feeling it does; doubly so if they expect you to be married by now and would like some grand kids please – whenever is convenient you know, but soon... Somehow the parental influence doesn't seem to diminish. I have to say I do love my family dearly but just once a little bit of space would be nice!

I'm impatient, and I don't think its just the coffee. I'm very eager to get things moving again in my life, as everything seemed to stop. Ready to move, ready to go and start again - something new, something good. It just seems that things don't always pan out that way, very close but no cigar to the last job, which was a shame as I liked the area, the job and the chance to sort things. Things need to get moving as I feel as if I'm starting to go just a bit crazy, slightly more shut in that I would like...