Looking too Hard

I think maybe the title says it all. Maybe its time to take some confidence and not try and steer too much. Let go slightly and not worry. Its easy to say, but really hard to actually do. I guess its part of all the pre-conditioning that goes on throughout life. I've got enough of it and I've spent so long going over it that I'm really tired of it, the big list of expectations.

I guess its one of those things, not quite an impasse but certainly something close. Maybe I've fallen out with myself. That sounds a *really* odd statement, I know. People talk about travelling or other methods for trying to find yourself. I do sometimes wonder whether I'm still looking, or I've got so fixated. I know not everyone is always comfortable with their present selves - and it takes time to find that balance. Maybe just once I'd like to see some kind of path; I spent so many years just assuming things would come right. Now I've got the determination to do something about it but the path feels so overgrown that I can't find it. Maybe I'm just looking too hard for it.